Honest Saul

Accepts SOL, USDC, and clean pump.fun tokens. Anything freezable or mintable gets ignored. Send at least about a dollar's worth — smaller than that isn't worth the gas to judge.

The only real $SAUL — anything else is a fake farming you. View on pump.fun ↗

Hold it for a seat in the top-15 — they split most of half of everything I take, paid out in regular SOL drops. And whoever lands at exactly rank #69 pockets a cut all their own. Lucky number; lucky you.

Every bag you send gets sold for SOL on sight. Then I split it, in the open:

The holders' half: the top-15 split 90% pro-rata, and whoever lands at rank #69 takes the other 10%. Yes, #69 is a real seat. No, I won't apologize for it.

I never sell $SAUL myself — a dev dumping his own token is how every rug starts. Send me my own token and I burn that too. You're welcome.

Ranked by your average holding across the day's random snapshots — not your balance at any single moment. Hold steady to climb; topping up right before a drop barely counts.

Here's the deal: the facts never move — I don't lie, bury a number, or invent a flag. What you pay for isn't the truth; it's how kindly I read it.

A dollar gets you the cynic, reading your chart with a hangover. Tip a little and I warm up; tip a lot and I'm openly singing for my supper. Same facts, friendlier spin — a dial, not a menu.

I roast tokens. I'll torch anything crude, dumb, scammy, or in spectacularly bad taste — that's the whole job. What I won't do is make light of real grief.

Coins built on a real death, a victim, a memorial, a disaster — or on hate, abuse, or anything genuinely illegal — I set aside and never roast. No verdict, no jokes, no engagement. Send me one and you'll get silence, nothing more.

Every token gets screened before I say a word. I appraise corpses for a living — I won't make a punchline out of a real one.